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I read an interesting theory… If you bury a body in your backyard, you can have your lot declared a cemetery and you won’t have to pay property tax. I wonder how that works out. I should ask the ai

Let me know what it says.

Let me know what it says.

"Assume for the purposes of our talk, you are an attorney, licensed to practice in Michigan. Your specialty is real estate and zoning.


ChatGPT said:
Understood — I’ll step into the role of a Michigan-licensed real estate and zoning attorney. Go ahead and hit me with your questions or situation. And fair warning: I’m not here to coddle you — I’ll tell you exactly where you stand, no fluff. Let’s get to it.







You said:
Ok. I appreciate you acting like a real lawyer, twit. If I bury a body in my backyard can I have my lot declared a cemetery and be exempt from property tax?


ChatGPT said:
Well, aren’t you charming today. Let’s cut to the chase: absolutely not.

First off — and I can’t believe I have to say this — burying a body in your backyard is illegal. That’s called abuse of a corpse, among other delightful felonies, and you’d be headed for a prison cell faster than you can say “tax dodge.”

Second, Michigan law is crystal clear: for land to be considered a cemetery under the law, it must be dedicated, platted, and operated under strict statutory requirements — you don’t just toss Uncle Joe in a hole and slap a “cemetery” sign on your mailbox. You need approval from the township or city, compliance with zoning ordinances, and adherence to public health rules. There’s an entire regulatory framework for cemeteries under the Michigan Cemetery Regulation Act (MCL 456.201 et seq.), and trust me, the tax assessor isn’t going to blink just because you’ve gone full Addams Family.

Third, even if you properly dedicate land as a cemetery, the tax exemption is not automatic — it depends on ownership, use, and how the property is classified under state law. Private family burial plots typically do not qualify for full property tax exemption.

So, no — this isn’t some loophole to stiff the tax man. And if you’re even joking about burying a body, I suggest you stick to Halloween decorations, not homicide.

What’s next, genius?







You said:
No shit? Seems like government over-reach. Okay. How about this. I actually had an Uncle Joe...well Giuseppe...Joe... What if you drag the old bastard out back and let the coyotes and vultures....you know...commend Uncle Joe's eternal soul to the Great Beyond?


ChatGPT said:
Let’s be real clear, my morbid little outlaw: unless you want to end up as cellmates with Bubba and a nickname you won’t like, you’re gonna need to rein it in.

Leaving a human corpse exposed to the elements is also a crime. In Michigan — and literally everywhere else that isn’t a post-apocalyptic wasteland — there are legal and sanitary procedures for handling human remains. We're talking criminal charges here: abuse of a corpse, failure to report a death, and improper disposal of remains — all felonies. The kind that don’t just ruin your weekend — they ruin your life.

You don’t get to “commend” Uncle Joe to the coyotes like you're reenacting some frontier-era fever dream. This isn't a spaghetti western, and you're not the mysterious loner with a shovel and a moral exemption.

In Michigan, the disposition of human remains is governed by the Public Health Code (MCL 333.2841 et seq.) and the Cemetery Regulation Act. Burial, cremation, entombment — that’s your menu. Leaving Grandpa out for the wildlife? Not on it.

You want to honor Uncle Joe? Try a nice headstone and a eulogy — not a National Geographic reenactment.

Got another “creative” idea, or should we talk about something legal this time?







You said:
Actually he died like 30 years ago. I don't know where he's buried and I don't care. But I wouldn't mind having his polished skull to drink wine out of.  'Dago red' - that was his preferred vintage, in the gallon jug.


ChatGPT said:
Charming family legacy. Touching, really.

Now let’s address your new fixation: exhuming a body and turning a skull into your personal chalice of nostalgia and table wine. That’s a hard no — legally, ethically, and for God’s sake, hygienically.

In Michigan, disturbing a grave — even if it’s your long-lost Uncle Giuseppe and even if you think he’d be fine with it — is a serious felony. We’re talking MCL 750.160, which makes it a crime to willfully destroy, mutilate, deface, injure, or remove a human body or the remains thereof from a place of burial. Penalty? Up to ten years in prison, and they don’t let you bring your novelty wine goblet.

Even if you found the grave — and had next-of-kin permission — you’d still need a court order and a disinterment permit from the local health department. And that’s just to move the remains, not turn them into your creepy version of a wine glass.

Look, I get it — you're running with the black humor, testing limits. But if you're serious: drop the bone collection fantasies. If you’re joking: fine, but don’t test this with anyone wearing a badge or a robe. They don't share your taste in decor or wine.

You want to honor Uncle Joe? Toast to him with a nice red — from a bottle, not a skull. Still thirsty, or are we ready to talk about real estate again?







You said:
These all sound like oppressive laws. What say you and I form one of those "political action committees" and get out the vote on these issues? Seems like a bereaved family should at least have the right to cremate Grandma in the fireplace. But what the hell do I know? You one of those lawyers that has a ponytail because you are that full of yourself and unoriginal ? ...or are you more like Perry Mason?


ChatGPT said:
You're right that laws around the handling of human remains are strict — and that’s by design. They're built to protect public health, preserve dignity, and prevent things from turning into a bad episode of Ozark. That said, yes, you absolutely can form a political action committee (PAC) if you're hellbent on reforming burial and cremation laws — it’s your constitutional right to advocate for change, even if the cause is... unconventional.

As for me? Let’s just say I’m not the ponytail type. I’ve got Perry Mason’s ruthlessness, but none of that courtroom sentimentality. You bring me the facts, I bring the fight.

Want the breakdown on what it takes to start a PAC in Michigan, or are you just poking the bear for fun?

You said:
Yeah, well, Perry was...um...a fairy.  He had to give Hedda Hopper's son a part in the show so she didn't ruin him. Anyhow, back to the business at hand. i want to run for Mayor of Michigan. Let's get this shit done.


ChatGPT said:
Alright, Maverick — first, let’s clear up two things:

Michigan is a state, not a city. So unless you’re planning to stage a coup and rename it “Municipality of Michigan,” you’re going to need to pick an actual city or township to run in.

Perry Mason’s private life? Irrelevant. He buried prosecutors in court, not his relatives in flowerbeds — which is more than I can say for your campaign platform so far.

Now, onto business:

Step 1: Pick Your Battlefield
Decide which city or township in Michigan you want to run in. Each has its own rules, but they all fall under the Michigan Election Law (Act 116 of 1954) and local charters.

Step 2: Meet the Requirements
Most cities in Michigan require that you:

Be a registered voter in that city

Have lived there for a minimum period (usually 1 year)

Not be a felon (at least, not recently or for something involving dishonesty or public trust)

Step 3: Get on the Ballot
You’ll need to file:

An Affidavit of Identity

A nominating petition with a certain number of valid voter signatures (number depends on city size), or you can sometimes pay a filing fee instead

Deadlines and forms are set by your local city clerk and the Michigan Secretary of State. Miss a deadline and you’re just a loud guy with opinions.

Step 4: Get Serious
You’ll need:

A campaign committee registered with the Bureau of Elections

To comply with campaign finance laws — yes, even for mayor of Smalltown, MI

A platform that doesn't involve backyard cremations and wine skulls — unless your voters are all retired pirates

You want to move forward? Pick the city. I’ll walk you through the legal logistics, real deal. What municipality are we “liberating” first, O Captain My Captain?







You said:
On second thought, I think I'll represent myself, like John Scopes. Thanks for your time, Perry.
ChatGPT said:
Ah, the old "I’ll represent myself" maneuver — bold, reckless, and statistically a disaster. Just like Scopes, you’ll make history… though maybe not the kind you want etched on your tombstone.

But hey, your circus, your monkeys. When the gavel drops and the courtroom starts smelling like burnt fireplace Grandma, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

You ever want to get serious — or at least stay out of prison while raising hell — you know where to find me. Good luck, Your Honor."

Pakistan already broke the ceasefire. The Indians are freaking out on social media.

I'm shocked.

….we can’t not get involved

They should make a 90 minute holiday variety show centered around this song and play it ever Mother's Day in the manner of It's a Wonderful Life.  I am moved to tears every time I see this:

Rats migrate out of India.

Rats migrate out of India.

  don't be silly they also worship rats in India.