Topix Underground

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Lol...Elephants are racist !

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I only did once and was horrified in many levels. The people were all kinds of shady, and the toilet had this blue chemical that was splashing around. The whole situation was too peasant for me.

Did you bring a bottle of Boone's Farm?

Your state, Faith.

There is no fckng reason on Earth to hunt coyotes unless you're just  nutless inbred white trash venting your frustration on dogs.  In any case, they (the "hunters" ) should be shot and pissed on.

Anyhow, I know where this guy lives. It's not far. Nice area. I did a lot of work over that way. Beautiful houses, lots of land. Nice as hell. I loved working over there because the drive is all straight, empty country roads. Close to home, nice people. I had a job there for some woman whose husband was some big shot auto executive and the son was apparently a professional soccer player  somewhere. That particular job set off several animal-related chain of events now that I think of it.

There's coyotes all over the place but you rarely see them. One of the few time I saw one was over there. The woman was talking to me...droning on and on about whatever it was...tile maybe. I was looking over her shoulder at the window behind her and I could see a coyote staring at the woman's chickens from the tree line. So I kind of maneuvered around so she couldn't see what was going on. It was breathtaking. The coyote burst into a rapid trot, grabbed a chicken in her teeth without breaking her stride and galloped off into the sunset. Makes me smile just thinking of it.

Another day, the stupid bitch set a trap in her barn and caught an opossum. I happened to be walking to my truck as her and her hillbilly neighbor were walking up the driveway. He had a rifle.  I walked over to the barn, where they were,  walked right past them, picked up the cage with the oppossum in it and said  "I'll bring your trap back tomorrow". Then I put it in my van, drove home and released the oppossum into my yard. 

The next day, I did return the trap. She had me doing something else to the house. At some point I had to chop off some metal piece of something and I changed the blade in my grinder from a tile blade to a metal cutting blade. I forgot. I was sitting cross-legged on the floor in shorts. The grinder was still spinning when I casually sat it on my lap not thinking.  The blade cut into my calf and I was immediately sitting in a pool of blood. There was some guy there painting up on a ladder and he saw this and threw me a towel he had and I drove to the emergency room. They cauterized and stitched me inside and out and I went back to work. I caused a lot of trouble on that job.

Ultimately, the experience is what inspired me to get chickens in the first place. So while the wound to my leg has long since healed, the damage to my life marches on. I wonder if I have a picture of that opossum. That made all the other shit worthwhile. God knows I didn't make shit on the job.
 

I would call that guy if I need a lawyer - just because of the drive. Anything beats driving into the city.

I miss going that way. Atlas, Hadley, Grand Blanc, Metamora. Joint's crawling with horses. It is so so much better than working where there's traffic.

Man, I think back to when I lived in the city. It's like remembering a movie about a totally different person living a totally different life. It is a miracle that I was delivered from that crushing mental and spiritual oppression. No one living in a city can ever truly become who they were intended to be. It is such an unnatural state of being for hominids that the damage it does precludes any hope of self-actualization.

It's lucky for me, lucky for these cats and very lucky that where fate led us was an ideal place to raise a kid. None of the repulsive aspects of humanity's worst that I lived through are present here  in this idyllic countryside. All of those giant life mistakes I thought I made led me to this. So, in retrospect, it was apparently very much a success. I'd rather have coyotes in my backyard than fences, playscapes and pergolas. Dogs are the greatest thing in life.