Topix Underground

I hate weddings. So my arrangement with the karma bank was as follows: I'm not going to any weddings ever. In return, I didn't invite anyone to my wedding - so they should give me a pass out of gratitude. I did get drunk and buy my wife a ring that just makes me hate myself every time I think of what I could have done with that much money other than buy something of no real value or use except that which has been arbitrarily assigned. 

I'd like to meet the guy that thought that custom up and chop his hands off. He was probably a guy that sold jewelry, right? They can make that shit in a lab now. In fact, I bought it off an Arab so it's probably fake anyhow.