Topix Underground

Whenever we get one of those variety chocolate boxes, I stick my finger in the bottom of all of them so I can take all the ones with caramel inside and leave all the shitty ones for everyone else. They should just make them all caramel. They should make all assorted hard candy red or watermelon too.

I like truffles.

Who was your first landlord?

Some old lady when I was 1st year in college in Bulgaria. We lived across from the residency of the head of the Bulgarian church. My roommate and I considered to dress like ninjas and jump the fence to check it out, but changed our mind because we were afraid there were dogs inside.

Didn't some Turk shoot the Pope?

It wouldn’t matter to Greeks. They are religious fanatics.

Me too.

Some old lady when I was 1st year in college in Bulgaria. We lived across from the residency of the head of the Bulgarian church. My roommate and I considered to dress like ninjas and jump the fence to check it out, but changed our mind because we were afraid there were dogs inside.

I think it's all just part of their over-done Greek schtick.

I like truffles.

Isn't that some kind of mushroom that the French use pigs to find?

Isn't that some kind of mushroom that the French use pigs to find?

Bet she likes caviar too.

There's been a bunch of times in my life when I thought about becoming religious but I was always able to get myself out of whatever  trouble I was in.

I hate being tasered.