Topix Underground

Even Ray Charles can see that this was a premeditated sabotage. Not the first from the left.

No kid, they really are that stupid. #Wetriedtotellyou

My wife and me are both underachievers. So we're both kind of succeeding vicariously through her. It's quite a relief.

You were a complete failure in life until you successfully produced your hyper intelligent and talented offspring.
   Kudos! 😆

No kid, they really are that stupid. #Wetriedtotellyou

No, bubba, they aren’t

3 people have lunch, no booze and it's $120.  That's insane.

Mcds prices are actually reasonable at this point.

My wife and me are both underachievers. So we're both kind of succeeding vicariously through her. It's quite a relief.

It’s great actually.

No, bubba, they aren’t

There's a famous saying in poker, “If you can't spot the sucker at the table, then it's probably you.”

Jesus Christ Waco. Why don’t you just use a ladder as scaffolding? Or smoke while inspecting a jug of kerosene. There is a reason women live longer than men.

. I fell off a scaffolding and broke my leg when I was 15 while painting for my mother. So she wouldn't hurt herself. Five years ago I fell off one of those powered scaffoldings ... You know they have wheels and you operate them while standing on a retractable platform... But it overbalanced.... I landed on top of the car which probably saved me some really bad injuries... All I got that time was a concussion... I was painting some guy's barn at that time... everybody was pretty mad at me though... The doctor at the orthopedic clinic where I got my hip injection at yesterday looked at me funny when he saw my eye patch and the bandages on my hand... I was nervous about getting the hip injection because somebody told me it hurt.... so I took a bunch of pain pills first... By the time I got to the doctor's office for the hip injection I was basically incoherent... Fortunately most people can't tell any difference between me being incoherent and coherent... Lucky that way I guess...