Topix Underground

Wow man. I’m not superstitious but when I woke up there was a giant orange sign laying down flat on the lawn. It says something about road work. I take that as a bad omen.

Wife Beginning To Suspect Husband's Thoughtful, Relevant Responses To Her Texts Might Be A.I. Generated

Babylon Bee

It's ridiculous. There's two big tv's in this house - the one I stuffed in the fireplace and one hanging on the wall in the bedroom (by a thread).  One's like a 'Fire' tv and the other is some Samsung deal with a whole different set of channels. It's overwhelming. So I bought this 10" tv. If I set the rabbit ears on the sill of my dope-smoking window, I get like fifty channels from Detroit, Toledo, Canada, etc. It has laid to rest my tv-watching anxieties.  It was like sixty bucks. That, coupled with the fifteen dollar ounce of reefer, has made me feel secure in life, like a wealthy man. That's how pathetically small my universe has become.

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It's all I need. I could live in a garden shed with this thing and like a toaster oven.

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I always wanted to live in a garden shed. It's weird. There's a place in town that actually sells them off a lot and they're beautiful. They have porches, windows. It's all you need...minimalistic.

Lol. My next door neighbor just about lived in his shed with his booze and portable TV.

It was one of those Channel Lumber shed kits he and I built.

As I get older, I just want to unburden myself of as many objects, responsibilities and expenses as I possibly can without sleeping on a park bench. If I could turn every single object in my life back into the money I paid for it, I could live in a hotel like GD Al Capone.

As I get older, I just want to unburden myself of as many objects, responsibilities and expenses as I possibly can without sleeping on a park bench. If I could turn every single object in my life back into the money I paid for it, I could live in a hotel like GD Al Capone.

Luxury hotel living where you never even have to come out of your room. Everybody waits on you like you're a god. Good times!

It's all you need. 75% of the world's population would be glad to have a garden shed to live in.

I lived in a boat shed once and was glad to have it.