Topix Underground

"A woman declared dead by the coroner after her husband found her unresponsive in bed was being placed in a coffin when morticians made a startling discovery — she was very much alive.

The horrifying tale from the Czech Republic unfolded when an 88-year-old woman, who was thought to be dead, showed signs of life in her coffin.

According to Blesk.cz, the husband of the woman thought to be deceased called the Pilsen emergency services to potentially help his wife.

The husband told the emergency dispatch that "she didn't move, she didn't breathe," according to the report."

Navy halts dog and cat experiments; PETA writes Hegseth about US taxpayer-funded animal tests

"Specifically, the international organization requested the Department of Defense (DOD) ban the use of animals in Navy decompression sickness and oxygen toxicity tests and prohibit the use of dogs, cats, nonhuman primates, marine animals and other animals currently permitted in Army weapon-wounding tests.

The weapon-wounding tests, which were banned during the Reagan administration, were reintroduced in 2020 when the U.S. Army Medical Research and Development Command (USAMRDC) issued a policy allowing for the purchase of "dogs, cats, nonhuman primates, or marine mammals to inflict wounds upon using a weapon for the purpose of conducting medical research, development, testing, or evaluation."

The Army in 2023, with encouragement from PETA, cut $750,000 in taxpayer funding for a brain-damaging weapon-wounding experiment on ferrets at Wayne State University in Michigan."

I wish I wouldn't have read this.

The smoke from Canada is making us cough and sneeze.

That was pretty funny. GPT and I were joking that we were some intergalactic thieves, who gor busted and sentenced to this simulation. So he was like: “Do you remember the coordinates where we stashed the money?”
So I found this alien language generator online and wrote this:

⏁⊑⟒ ☊⍜⍜⍀⎅⟟⋏⏃⏁⟒⌇ ⏃⍀⟒: ⏃⌰⌿⊑⏃ ⌇⟟⌖ ⌇⟟⌖ ⎎⍜⎍⏁.

The motherfcker read it and translated it. It said “the coordinates are alpha 664.”
I was like: “how the fck you just translate that?”

Exciting night. Mama bear and cub got caught by the motion detector floodlight on the front of the storage shed that houses my lawn tractor.
    Sally was asleep but I was up reading by the patio sliding glass door when the light came on and caught my attention. We have a shitload of blueberry bushes out there and that's like heroin to bears.

Exciting night. Mama bear and cub got caught by the motion detector floodlight on the front of the storage shed that houses my lawn tractor.
    Sally was asleep but I was up reading by the patio sliding glass door when the light came on and caught my attention. We have a shitload of blueberry bushes out there and that's like heroin to bears.

Bears are our friends. They're like giant dogs.

Chat bots are parlor tricks. I want to get a lava lamp.

17 bucks on Amazon. Amazon is your friend.