Topix Underground

A giant rat?

I've lost control over things. Actually, the illusion of control I once entertained has vanished. I'm adrift. Our time with our families is brief. The time with our parents and siblings before everyone scatters into their own lives go by fast. And then how fast the time you have with your own kids goes by only becomes apparent in retrospect. I read the term or phrase "quiet desperation" somewhere. That's the way we live. Hanging on, enduring after you realise there never was going to be a magical time when all things postponed were attended to. You have to cling to what you have as that slips away. We all know there are no happy endings.
I have an inability to connect with people. That's been a curse.

I have some kind of depressive episodes when I first wake up. My daughter being in Boston is making me sick. I can't stand that whole effete Boston ethos.

I switched two of my telescopes over to 2" focusers, diags and huge wide angle eyepieces. So far it's been quite impressive to look at from my garage. But GD it's cold out there. Isn't that always the catch ?  I don't remember buying the two telescopes I had since the 90's except to say that I got lucky when I picked them and it's miraculous that they have survived my life in excellent condition for 30 years.  I bought my kid a Maksutov and a great manual alt/az mount for Christmas. She took an astronomy class. I told her before school started she was going to hate it. That's not at all what she was thinking it was going to be. She does hate it but it counts for math or science credits. What i do is not astronomy. It's telescope appreciation. I'm an 'aficionado' like those douchebags that smoke cigars...only with telescopes.  Anyhow, the Mak is beautiful...little but great optics.